Falling in Love with my Food.

I heart pasta. 

I think food has taken too much of a backseat in our culture. People have fallen out of love with food. I don't know what kind of emotions you have with food, but for me food can have many negative emotions attached to it.  I think of it making me fat, making those around me fat, making me sick, causing disease, not providing the right fuel, poisoning my body, it being a burden, the planning, the stress, the time, control and loss of control, fear of what is in my food, the money, the under-appreciation of the effort.  I think of how clean cooking looks on T.V., how with ease a lemon is squeezed, how the meat doesn't stick, cakes don't fall, and a smile is on your face.  Well cooking isn't like that for me... To get the juice from a lemon it takes arm strength, to not get meat to stick it takes practice, to prevent your cake from falling it take trying out different recipes and being met with failure, my hair is pulled back, my face is hot, I sweat, my feet hurt, I get stuff all over my clothes, the kitchen is a mess, and sometimes I catch things on fire.  I have cried over many an ugly pie and shrunk in embarrassment after torching the kitchen.  I have been met with the disappointment of spending all day on something  only to have a cake from a box and a can that looks prettier than mine be accepted and eaten more readily than my own.  I have made things and gagged.  So why you might ask do I love food?  Why do I spend so much time on it?  Why do I not give up?  Because it is the moment you place something in your mouth you have made and realize it's divine.  It's the time I make something and someone tells me it's the best thing they have ever had.  It's knowing that while I postpone looking pretty for the birthday party to the last minute because of a cake, the person can know that they are special enough for my best effort.  I work for the moment of success in the kitchen, for the constant acquisition of knowledge in all things food.  I work on it like any praiseworthy skill.  Slow and steady, mistakes are made and you keep going.  Disasters are made and your try again.  You are embarrassed and you get back up. It's knowing that what I put in my mouth is going to pay me back in return.  My body thanks me when I listen to it.  When I eat things that makes it feel good, makes it feel in balance.  It doesn't want to be starved or over fed.  It likes different colors, flavors, and tastes.  It fails me when I fail to feed it what it needs.  I feel weak, I feel unmotivated, depressed, anxious, worthless. So I guess all in all, I love food because of the way it can make me feel.  I make room for it because it pays back emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I will not lie to you like Paula Dean and Rachel Ray... Worthwhile cooking is not an easy business. But I have found that it always pays me back over time.  I find beauty in the colors and joy in the wide variety of experiences food has to offer.  And for that, I have fallen in love with food.